Not Working Well With Others? Here’s Why and How To Fix It

Most people want to work well with others. While they don’t necessarily want or need to be best friends, they are willing to make an effort so that they can work together in harmony with their coworkers. 

Despite this, sometimes working well with others is difficult.

In a 2021 survey by My Perfect Resume, 65% of respondents said they experienced conflict with their coworkers. Why is that? According to the study, the top sources of conflict among coworkers included:

1. Work stress (25%)
2. Lack of teamwork (25%)
3. Rude behavior (22%)
4. Lack of transparency/honesty about something important (18%)
5. Clash of values (9%)
6. False accusations (2%)

While it might take two to tango, if you don’t feel you are working as well with your coworkers as you would like to, then solving the problem starts by evaluating your own words and actions. In other words, what are you doing that is making it difficult to work well with others? To give you a place to start, here are a few common reasons and what you can do to fix it if you feel it’s contributing to your situation at work. 

1. You Don’t Understand Their Work Style

Depending on your personality, skills, and past experiences, the way that you approach your job and your working relationships can be very different from the way your coworkers do. This is referred to as your work style. In any workplace, there are four work styles that appear: logical, support, detail-oriented, and idea-oriented. 

None of these work styles is inherently better or worse than the other, but they most definitely influence our strengths, weaknesses, and priorities. It is for that reason that you should make an effort to identify and understand your own work style, as well as the work styles of those you work with. Doing so will give you a greater understanding of your coworkers and influence how you connect with or approach them so that you can work better together.

How To Fix It

Start by taking Niagara Institute’s Work Styles Assessment and read up on your dominant style. Once you have, send it over to your coworkers and ask them what answer they get. The assessment is a great way to open up a conversation about work styles that you might not otherwise have and gain useful insights about your coworkers that you can immediately use when working with them.

2. You Avoid Conflict With Them

You’re going to experience conflict with your coworkers - it’s inevitable. If you try to avoid it at all costs, you open the door for resentment and grudges to grow. When that happens, it makes it that much harder to get to the root cause of the conflict, engage in healthy conflict resolution, and generally just work well with others.

How To Fix It

Instead of avoiding conflict, you should seek to understand it. To do that, start by learning about your approach to conflict. Is your approach healthy? What about your approach to conflict isn’t working? You can do this by taking the Conflict Style Quiz and reading up on not only your dominant style but the other styles as well. Once you have, send the quiz to your coworkers and use it as a chance to prompt a conversation about how you can support each other when conflict arises.

3. You Don’t Adapt to Their Communication Style

A large part of working well with others comes down to your ability to communicate effectively. However, not everyone communicates the same way. In the workplace, there are four types of communication styles: assertive, passive, passive-aggressive, and aggressive. Depending on your style and the style of your coworkers, you will have to adapt your communication accordingly to ensure that your style does not inadvertently cause confusion or tension and compromise your ability to work well together.

How To Fix It

In order to work well with others, you not only need to understand the communication styles at play, but you also need to be equipped with the skills and tools needed to effectively adapt your own style on the fly. To do this, start by taking the Communication Style Quiz with your coworkers and discussing your results. Then, evaluate your communication skills and enroll yourself in a communication training program if necessary to hone your skills, learn new techniques, and gain confidence.

4. You Don’t Set Boundaries and Manage Expectations

It can be intimidating to set (and enforce!) boundaries and manage expectations with your coworkers. You might even think that doing so could cause problems. However, if you do so tactfully and respectfully, standing up for yourself in this way can actually help you build and maintain healthy working relationships with your coworkers.

For example, if you always say yes to your coworkers, even when it puts you at risk of burnout or puts a high-priority task you’re working on in jeopardy, you will likely begin to feel resentful. Over time, that can cause you to do and say passive-aggressive things that make it more difficult to work well with that person than if you had set a boundary with them from the get-go.

How To Fix It

It takes experience and confidence to set boundaries and manage expectations with your coworkers. So, if you don’t have much experience doing so, start small by practicing in low-risk situations and with people you trust until you feel more comfortable.